I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
