and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
