the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Randomize
