If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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