That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
