we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she told me i tasted like america
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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