so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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