Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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