i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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