I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
