He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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