Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
