best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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