i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
