but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
