You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
