I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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