dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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