Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
