I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
