Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Randomize
