whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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