So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
