my vag is so smooth its legendary
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
