I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
