i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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