maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
