That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
