He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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