I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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