I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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