so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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