I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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