I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
