I heard we made out
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
