Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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