Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
