So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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