Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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