i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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