Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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