I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
