Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
