Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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