U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
