I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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