The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
