good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
