Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize