Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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