You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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